Comments on: How Closely Involved Are You With Your Ex?

By: Pinky

Pinky — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:16:23 +0000

I have an ex and two children with him. Our divorce was 11 years ago. I don’t want to be around him any more than he around me. He has moved on and so have I. The only time we need to communicate is in regards to our children – who are 17 & 13 and as cuch
My sister’s and mother have befriended him on facebook and invite him to family events (such as my nephew’s soccer games) but don’t invite myself or my kids. He didn’t tell our children about their cousin’s game. It’s a game of abuse and dysfunction. An ex should be just that – an ex. The divorce is an ending of a relationship. Its hurtful that my family would perpetually invite my ex to family events without thought to my feelings. And when I don’t attend because EVERYTIME they invite him – he shows. NOT because he cares about them but because he dispises me that much. His dumb girlfriend even comes along for the dysfunction.
I realize break ups are difficult and many innocent people get hurt along the way – but what happened to family loyalty?

I love the excuse of “what happened between you two has nothing to do with me”….really, I thought I was *your* family member, I would think you would care about how I would feel to consistantly be around a person treated me badly and is dysfunctional.
Cheap excuse to mask bad behavior!

By: Pinky

Pinky — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:16:23 +0000

By: flit

flit — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:52:38 +0000

I have next to nothing to do with my ex … he’s in another province and my kids occasionally mention that they’ve spoken to him on the phone, but that’s about it. Although I did call him earlier this year – needed a copy of our divorce papers so that I could get married again

My husband’s ex, on the other hand, is on my facebook, watches our dog, comes for Christmas dinner, stops by to visit … and once, years ago, when he & I were having ~issues~ and needed a bit of time apart, I went to stay with her for a week or so

Lots of talk about THAT in our small town, I can tell you

flit’s last blog post..Grinning

By: flit

flit — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:52:38 +0000

Lots of talk about THAT in our small town, I can tell you

flit’s last blog post..Grinning

By: netta

netta — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:58:58 +0000

I have nothing to do with the ex or his family, even though we were together for 16 years and had three children together. It just didn't work out that way, and it's sad because when we divorced I not only lost a husband (and good riddance) but I lost the entire extended family. I guess every situation is different. They weren't nice people and I'm better off, but I think if you can keep a civil relationship that's best. For me, it was best to keep my distance -- much healthier, if you know what I mean. netta’s last blog post..Menopausal Superpowers

By: netta

netta — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:58:58 +0000

By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:48:23 +0000

I stay on the periphery of my ex's family. I did attend the funeral of his mother who was a dear person and loved in her own right. My son keeps us informed of most of the rest. I guess it's that tie through the child that keeps the tie there as I would totally be uninterested in him were it not for our son. ê¿ê Margaret’s last blog post..Twisting SEO Into Shape

By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:48:23 +0000

By: Aldon Hynes

Aldon Hynes — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:29:14 +0000

When I went through my divorce, my ex and I spent two very long hard years going through mediation. From this we have come out with a good working relationship. In our case, it is important because we have two daughters. They are both now in college and we have plenty of logistics on how meet their needs. Around the same time, I attended a brilliant online class at Indiana University entitled Grief in the Family Context. It talked about disenfranchised grief, such as the grief on has when an ex dies. It was very informative. At this point, I bear my ex no ill will. She is a person in my life like so many other acquaintances from work, from church or from the community. If something horrible were to befall a member of her family, I would approach it in a manner very similar to how I would any other person I know from the community. I would take it on a case by case basis whether or not to attend a funeral, visit a person in the hospital, or whatever else needed to be done. My two cents. Aldon Hynes’s last blog post..The Future of the Newspaper

By: Aldon Hynes

Aldon Hynes — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:29:14 +0000