Enough is enough with this stupid virus that Bill and I have, if it’s not better by Monday I’ll have to go get antibiotics and the last ones I took was 9 years ago and I had an allergic reaction so I kind of steer clear, but this strain of virus is really wearing us down since Christmas Eve. I know we’ve been under a lot of strain and have certainly not had the rest or proper anything, but it couldn’t be helped and all the traveling and emotions are just too much.

I have already used NyQuil which didn’t help, and mucus relief which made me sick and then Mucinex DM which I thought helped at first, but now it is settling in my ear and my face is so sore so I took a sinus pill which helped a little and Bill just bought me something called Similasan Earache Relief because they recommended it at the drugstore and you can use it with antibiotics which I will no doubt need because it’s just not letting up.

I can’t properly take care of my Shadow because I feel like crap. I’ve been trying to do EC drops, but they are done sporadically between taking care of everything else and sleeping. I must say it’s hell getting old because you just don’t have the stamina to keep up with everything once you’re down. Although I have to say Bill has been a real trooper, he’s only 6 years older than me, but he seems to maintain much better even though he’s been horribly sick.

He ran interference for me and did the socializing because I really wasn’t up to it. I did talk of course to the people I hadn’t seen in 28 years, but it was a blessing that they were so happy to talk about themselves so all I had to basically do was agree and nod my head and just listen. I had to wonder off on my own quite often because I was overwhelmed and felt like I was smothering just being around all those people even though I was grateful that they had thought enough of Eric to be there.

The donor Father that hadn’t wanted us when I was 16 had also been invited to be there which I hadn’t known had been invited until he was on his way, upset me very much because he always claimed that Eric wasn’t his, but he did go see Eric in the hospital a month or 2 before his death and told me he thought he would do the DNA and I thought well that’s a little late now that he’s 38 and dying and doesn’t really need you. All of this is a long story which is now closed as far as I’m concerned.

I exchanged a few words with him from a few yards only because he called out to me and then I turned and retreated through the door I had emerged from. I could tell he wanted to talk, but I didn’t. I had already told Bill I didn’t have anything to say to him any more. He told Bill at the graveside that he would like to speak with me, but since I didn’t actually go to the grave and stayed in the Jeep Bill ran interference again. That part of my life is over and I certainly don’t need his freaking condolences.

If he wants to do DNA with Ethan and help him to make up for a guilty conscience then that would be great.