In one of my talks with my Son I asked him if anything could possibly be worse than cancer and his answer was yes being paralyzed would be worse. I’m not sure I agree, but it certainly gives me something to think about. For those of you that said prayers I’d like to say that they have helped and thank-you very much for your thoughts. We all have our good days and bad ones and I pray for all of us to have more of the good ones.

Shadow (my furry son) had a restless night because he has a hard time with pooping inside and he holds it until he can’t hold it anymore then he cries and cries and I feel so sorry for him, but then he gets quite and settles down. He still hasn’t tried to get up and the 24th will be a month he hasn’t been active and mobile and we’re worried that he wont even bother to try, but I still have hope that someday he will.

I can’t believe I am still sick, it’s going on a month now and it wont go away it seems to be stuck in my throat and ears. I have been getting plenty of rest and fluids and eating right, but it still persists, I have never had a virus last this long, anyone else having a problem this year getting rid of theirs? I’m starting to think that the older I get the the worse everything is going to be and I’m not looking forward to any of it.

A few years back when Bill started taking a mild blood pressure pill I bought him a monitor that he could check his pressure with at home. He likes to play doctor and check mine also when I let him and the last few times it’s been pretty high so now he’s worried that I might have a stroke and he’s pushing me to make an appointment which I will do next week when I feel better. Strokes and heart attacks do run in my family.

I was thinking about all of this because of Shadow’s problems and I’d certainly hate to be in the position he is in now and have Bill try to take care of both of us. Just thinking about not being able to take care of my physical needs sends a chill through me. I watched my Mother take care of my paralyzed Father and how hateful and bitter he became and I would really not like to be in that position.

Of course no one would want to have either happen to themselves or anyone else and I’ve thought a lot about that conversation with my Son. I thought at least if he had been paralyzed he could still be able to watch his Son grow up, but he was adamant that he would prefer cancer to being paralyzed. He must have thought about this a lot because he knew about my family history.

Little did we know that all that cancer was running strife on his blood Fathers side, the only thing he ever inherited from him.