My comprehension has always been good, but ask me to explain anything or demonstrate something and my mind goes totally blank. I really admire people that are good at show and tell, I have always dummied up and just looked and felt stupid. In school even if I knew the answer to something if I was put on the spot and asked a direct question with all eyes upon me then I was doomed. I have tried over the years to compensate by being an avid listener and speaking one on one I’m usually fine.

I hated when I tried out for cheerleader in front of the whole school and messed up the routine, but the kids thought I had done it on purpose because many knew me as a clown which was a cover because I was so sensitive and shy and it was easier for me to be flippant about things so kids wouldn’t know how much I cared. I did make the squad, but got kicked off later because my grades were so horrible at the time, this was at a private school which I hated.

I was always a lazy person and never really applied myself to learning which of course I regret now. I’m not saying I was stupid then or now, but if I had applied my brain I probably wouldn’t have been a waitress, cook, bartender, and cosmetologist. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with any of those occupations and they helped me overcome a lot of shyness because when you work with people you have to learn good communication skills and it’s easier when your getting paid.

I can skim over a lot of subjects in a conversation, but I’m not intelligent nor do I have the capacity to come up with book knowledge off the top of my head. I admire intelligent people that don’t have to think about a question before they give an answer because everything goes out of their head. Even though I comprehend what I’m being asked I’m afraid of giving an answer because I don’t want to sound stupid. Although I have found that the older I get I really don’t care.

A mind really is a terrible thing to waste, too bad I really didn’t use my comprehension about that way back when. I have learned a lot of life lessons though and had a lot of good experiences along with the bad like all humans. When I try to develop some ideas to generate money online people are always saying try to think outside of the box, lately I can’t even think inside the box. I can’t really say, that because I’m getting older my mind is deteriorating because I let that happen long ago.