Bill is addicted to infomercials and products that he sees advertised I think that I mentioned that before. One year I got him the Magic Bullet and he made a few milk shakes with it and now it’s no longer in use. For his birthday he mentioned he wanted the NuWave and for 2 weeks he wanted to cook everything on it, which he did and now it’s no longer in use. For Christmas we got Jack Lalanne’s power juicer and we have used it once and now it just sits there.

All of these things he watched over and over on infomercials and thought how cool they were and had to have them, but then for whatever reason when we get them they don’t always work the same. I use to do the same thing with the products at the fair when they would have demonstrations all that stuff looked so cool and so easy to use that I always whipped out the credit card and bought everything. When I would try to use the products like I had seen them do they simply didn’t produce the same results.

Nothing ever comes out looking like the food stuff shown on television and those product demonstrations that I see with my own eyes never work for me. I simply don’t get it do these people go to school to learn how to dupe people or is it just me? Why do these things work for some and not everyone? Kind of reminds me of those old gambling games they use to have at the fair, but are now banned. Those guys made winning look so easy and of course being the idiot that I was I always had to try for myself, guess what? I no longer fall for any of that stuff.

I have gotten to the point that I actually spend very little any more, no wonder we are having a recession I stopped spending.

Okay enough with all the sad depressing posts, I promise never to post anymore. We had 2 nice days this past weekend and enjoyed riding the Harley both days. On Saturday when we were out we stopped to look at treadmills because Bill said he wanted one, well he did until we saw the prices now he has decided to just use the old exercise machine I’ve had for years.

We also went to the Granddaughters 2nd birthday party on Sunday that was just for the Grandparents. They usually have 2 for each girl, one for the old folks and the second one for the kids. Everyone had a nice time except for the 3 year old that decided she would stay in her room because all of the old people there, she’s very bashful and a bit spoilt.

I think Spring is right around the corner, but I still haven’t seen a Robin yet. I get to see Ethan at 3 so that makes me happy. I need to go get a few things finished so I’ll finish drops later, have a good one.

I really appreciate all the concern and comments on the last few posts, but I am finding that writing about those 10 years between 17 and 27 are bringing back a lot of horrid memories that I had really banked down and covered up. I thought at first if I could get it all out there I could totally purge it and let it go once and for all, it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I’ve worked very hard over the years to forgive and I sometimes mouth the words out loud that I forgave that man for everything he has done, but I’m not quite sure I really believe it.

I’ll give a short synopsis, The first 2 years were the lowest I’ve ever been in my life and to this day I still haven’t decided if mental abuse is worse than physical at any rate I endured both and Eric basically got the mental abuse when he was older and a slap when I paid to much attention to him. During those 2 years I learned to hide in the other room when any people were around. I started agreeing with everything he said or did and more or less became a slave and still I would get abused and I never fought back because I was afraid.

I wanted to die and I tried taking 90 sinutabs, but all that did was make me sleep for several days and throw up and that’s when I got pissed at how weak minded I had become and started fighting back. I remember telling him when he busted my eardrum, come on you SOB either you die or I do and either way I’ll get relief. The 3rd year we moved back to Chattanooga where I worked to support the 3 of us on waitress pay for the next 7 years and by then my Son had become totally conditioned to Tommy’s way of thinking.

Someone drove Tommy to the mountains for a week because he couldn’t drive and when I caught my Son calling him and giving him a detailed report about my comings and goings I finally got the courage to grab up all of mine and Eric’s stuff and load my car which I had managed to get with Doc’s help and got in touch with the lady I had worked for and told her what I was finally doing she was so happy and gladly gave me my check and severance pay so I could get away. She and the girls I worked with had been encouraging me for 3 years to leave, but I was afraid.

They didn’t like the bruises I usually sported, but didn’t know how to help me back then. I called my brother and asked him if he could put me up till I got a job and apartment and he said yes and I was finally free. I didn’t find out till much later that my brother’s wife had been talking to Tommy and tried to get him to come to PA and that she could patch things up, what a snake it had taken me 10 years to escape. I would probably have killed him in desperation if he had showed up. At any rate I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging over my final escape.

His brother and niece told me at Eric’s funeral that he lives alone with all of his cats and never leaves and when the cats die he puts them in his freezer with his food and one of the relatives tries to help him dispose of them when he can. Tommy never had anything good to say about anybody or anything and now all he talks about is Armageddon and he’s afraid to go outside. He use to tell me he couldn’t wait till we died so he could find out all the evil things I had ever done and thought. Okay time to try the forgiveness thing again.

My Life/The Beginning Of 10 Years Of Hell

My Life/Part2

My Baby’s Father