I really dislike being in the state of mind that seems to be overpowering me at the moment. I seem to be suspended somewhere outside myself, I can’t seem to make a connection to what I’m thinking or feeling so I am in limbo or so it feels. My body functions from day to day and I get through each one as it arises, but nothing really makes sense. Yes, I know it’s some form of depression, but for the moment I seem without power to help myself and sometimes I just don’t care.

I’m always amazed when I wake up and see that I’m still in the same body with the same familiar surroundings. Everyone seeks for the purpose and meaning of their life, many fulfill themselves through religion and God, others find truth in helping their fellow man and the reality of the earth they see before them by striving to save the planet. Many just seem to drift seeking, but never really finding, flitting from one illusion to another.

I think it’s great that each day brings choices and decisions that we must make that will affect our future life and even those around us. We have the power to make anything possible when we believe and what happens when we no longer believe or have hope of effecting a positive change? I don’t think I would ever commit suicide because I don’t understand the concept of ending it all, I don’t think anything is ever ended, I think that source of energy simply returns to the original source and is recycled into another channel.

Today I don’t know what I think or feel or even believe so I feel like I’m in limbo and I don’t like it, perhaps tomorrow I’ll snap out of it.