Jude, there are far too many generic blogs out there and we don’t come here for that! What fun is happy, happy, happy? Life has ups and downs and so do we–and blogs help us cope. Yikes, I’m leaving when you get boring, pally. I love you through sad, happy, and in between times. We are here for you through it all and I would hope that when I’m in the dumps you’ll read my blog too.

I think you should look into grandparents rights AND a support group for grandparents in your situation. I think it will help a ton. Go do it, Jude. Nudge, nudge.
.-= Lin´s last blog ..It’s Cocktail Hour at Duck and Wheel! =-.

Thanks Lin I didn’t know they had support groups for Grandparents I’ll have to check into it and see if there is something around here. I appreciate the support and the invite to your cocktail party. I need to figure out a way to keep from boring everyone to tears here without telling my whole life history day in and day out. now that’s boring.

This is your own personal blog and if it helps you to heal by writing personal things in your posts than that is what you should do! I love your blog and hope you don’t feel you have to go generic to please others. Please yourself first!
.-= Lynne´s last blog ..Kreated By Karen is Having a Giveaway! =-.

Wow i have been so mired in my own world and what is going on with my SIL that I now realize I have been very selfish by not commenting.

I just took the time to read through your last few posts and my heart aches for you.

I can’t imagine losing a child and 9 months is actually not a very long time either. I can definitely see where you might just be really having it hit you now really hard.

I have lost everyone close to me except for my husband and my two daughters and I know it took me a long long time just to get out of a state of shock.

Then the grief and depression really set in!! I am grandmother too. Luckily, I am the maternal grandmother.

I have always been grateful for that. It is very difficult to be a grand parent for many reasons but under these circumstances I don;t know what I would do…probably go a little nuts!!

I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I will pray that your DIL will come to her senses and bring your grandchild for a visit.

Lin is also right in the fact that to share this with us is most appropriate. I have used my blog many many times to reach out.

I will most definitely be keeping a closer eye out when I am stopping by here, no matter what is going on with us here!!

I may not know you well Jude. But, I what you are going through would be just about unbearable for any mother and grandmother.

Please know even though I don;t know you well, I will be keeping you very close in my thoughts!!

Jackie
.-= Jackie´s last blog ..The Bud =-.

Talking about things always helps relieve the pain, so go ahead and say all you want. Remember to try and think of positive things also, because that can have an equal effect in relieving pain and stress. Then one day you’ll realize that you’re very happy about where you are at that time.
.-= Ratty´s last blog ..An Early Morning Adventure =-.

Awwww Ratty, you’re sweet, but nothing will ever release the pain I feel in my soul, I can pretend all I want and say happy stuff till my eyeballs bleed, but it wont change a thing, but I will start keeping it inside and not share anymore because it depresses too many people and I guess they deserve some happy thoughts because they have their own problems.

Jude, I just want you to know that my grandparents are some of the most important people in my life. On the other side, my biological father never fought for me, nor even acknowledges my kids when he sees them at my sisters house. Don’t give up, please. You obviously love them. I am not close to my in-laws, and your post makes me feel slightly guilty, but I would never not let them know what was going on. I don’t even quite know what I am saying, my heart just hurts for you. I will pray for you, and send you positive thoughts. i don’t care if you write 50 depressing posts, your genuineness and heart that you put in your posts is worth reading each and every time.
.-= Vicki@frugalmomknowsbest´s last blog ..I met a fellow blogger! Oh yea, and your goodies for today! =-.

Jude, a personal blog is just that…personal. People will read it or not and those who have come to know you through your blog will come back again and again. Don’t ever censor yourself. It is better to get it all out here than to bottle it all up inside and drive yourself crazy!
.-= Anna´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen #8 =-.

Aww sweetie – I’m sending big hugs your way. I’ve never commented before because I didn’t want to just barge in…but hey. I’m the Queen and I suppose I “barge” quite well!

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time – I would lend you the happiness in the world if I could. (Not that I’m sure the world seems so happy…) I would hate to see you turn this into a generic blog – there are loads of them out there. I think what keeps people (especially royalty, like I am in my own mind) coming back is YOU! We all care for you and want to check in with you. If it was all sunshine and roses, we’d go somewhere else. Your rawness, emotion, and personality is what keeps me coming back – and I’m sure everyone else feels that way as well.

Don’t be generic (gag) – be Jude. There isn’t a better person to be! xx
.-= Queen Katherine´s last blog ..A Business Networking Idea =-.

Really no need to hold all those feelings in on our account. Isn’t that the point of a blog? That you can spew when you need or want? Obviously we are here to listen and lend any support we can.
I agree that 9 months is hardly any time at all.
Grandparents rights is a gray issue. Some years ago it was in favor but now I fear that we have swung the other way. A support group is a great idea though.
.-= Buggys´s last blog ..This Ad Was Posted To Craig’s List Personals =-.

No need to thank me, but you are most welcomed.

Not to take your DIL’s side cause I think it’s terrible you don’t get to see your grandchildren. But, I wonder if this isn’t her defense mechanism kicking in? Her way of dealing with the grief. I’ve heard many times of family members shutting others out, because to be near them, talk to them; makes the pain and loss worse.

Under normal circumstances I would offer to come and speak my mind to this girl who’s keeping you from seeing your grandchildren. But, because I know grief takes many forms I really do wonder if she’s hurting too much to want to, to be able to be with you. Being with you makes her loss more apparent. You’re his mother, and he wouldn’t be there.

Seriously, I think you should write a long letter telling her how much you miss she and and kids and your son. How hard you know this is for her, and that you understand she has the responsibilities of keeping house, raising kids, and going to work now soley on her shoulders. That you think you son would want you all to work through this together. Your son loved her, therefore she can’t be a bad person. I really do think she’s hurting. You’ve lost a son; she’s lost her husband, her best friend, her lover, and the father of her children.

Hugs to you all
Sandy

And the time frame, my Mother’s only been gone 4 months and I can tell you how much my Dad is hurting. We kids to our best to bridge the gap; but he’s lost the love of his life. I can’t nor can my brothers replace that.
.-= sandy´s last blog ..Forest Park, St. Louis, Missouri =-.

Oh shoot forgot I also wanted to say I totally agree with the others, you should not keep your emotions bottled up, it’s not good for you. We all do have problems, thats true; but not only are you helping yourself when you speak your mind and heart, you’re probably helping others. When someone has troubles it’s good for them to know they are not alone.

The other thing I wanted to mention, hop over to my personal blog when you’ve time to do some reading. I’ve started an alphabetical memory of my Mother. I don’t post about it all the time; but if you start going through, you’ll see I’ve gone from A-I, with J waiting in the wings. It’s my way of focusing on the good, the fun, the more lighthearted. I wish to remember her that way and not the way she spend the last painful part of her life. I often call it memory Monday, though I’ve posted these memories as the mood strikes me. You could certainly do that here as well.

Hugs
Sandy
.-= sandy´s last blog ..Forest Park, St. Louis, Missouri =-.

Sandy she didn’t like me before they got married and she was up here in February and March with her Mother and I got to see him maybe 4 times she wont even give me her Mother’s address so we could have just rode the 50 miles ourselves to see him when we felt like it while she was here. She doesn’t have to work right now she receives almost 2,000 dollars a month from my Son’s survivor benefits and she only has Ethan to worry about. No it doesn’t bother or hurt her to be around me because like I said she didn’t even think of me as his Mother.

I’ll certainly have to check your personal blog as well and that’s cool about your memories of your Mom. I couldn’t do that with my Eric because the best memories were in the past couple years of his life when we actually started talking. The years before that were filled with a lot of sad hurtful memories and me being blamed for him being born and every thing that ever happened to him in his whole life, toward the end he actually thanked me for keeping him and he stopped blaming me for everything. No one wants to read a bunch of depressing crap so I need to keep that out of my blog. Thanks for caring Sandy.

9 months is such a short time. I hope we can continue to encourage you. I cannot imagine the pain you are justifiably going through.

Thank-you Karen I appreciate that very much.

Jude, there are far too many generic blogs out there and we don’t come here for that! What fun is happy, happy, happy? Life has ups and downs and so do we–and blogs help us cope. Yikes, I’m leaving when you get boring, pally. I love you through sad, happy, and in between times. We are here for you through it all and I would hope that when I’m in the dumps you’ll read my blog too.

I think you should look into grandparents rights AND a support group for grandparents in your situation. I think it will help a ton. Go do it, Jude. Nudge, nudge.
.-= Lin´s last blog ..It’s Cocktail Hour at Duck and Wheel! =-.

This is your own personal blog and if it helps you to heal by writing personal things in your posts than that is what you should do! I love your blog and hope you don’t feel you have to go generic to please others. Please yourself first!
.-= Lynne´s last blog ..Kreated By Karen is Having a Giveaway! =-.

Talking about things always helps relieve the pain, so go ahead and say all you want. Remember to try and think of positive things also, because that can have an equal effect in relieving pain and stress. Then one day you’ll realize that you’re very happy about where you are at that time.
.-= Ratty´s last blog ..An Early Morning Adventure =-.

Jude, I just want you to know that my grandparents are some of the most important people in my life. On the other side, my biological father never fought for me, nor even acknowledges my kids when he sees them at my sisters house. Don’t give up, please. You obviously love them. I am not close to my in-laws, and your post makes me feel slightly guilty, but I would never not let them know what was going on. I don’t even quite know what I am saying, my heart just hurts for you. I will pray for you, and send you positive thoughts. i don’t care if you write 50 depressing posts, your genuineness and heart that you put in your posts is worth reading each and every time.
.-= Vicki@frugalmomknowsbest´s last blog ..I met a fellow blogger! Oh yea, and your goodies for today! =-.

Aww sweetie – I’m sending big hugs your way. I’ve never commented before because I didn’t want to just barge in…but hey. I’m the Queen and I suppose I “barge” quite well!

I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time – I would lend you the happiness in the world if I could. (Not that I’m sure the world seems so happy…) I would hate to see you turn this into a generic blog – there are loads of them out there. I think what keeps people (especially royalty, like I am in my own mind) coming back is YOU! We all care for you and want to check in with you. If it was all sunshine and roses, we’d go somewhere else. Your rawness, emotion, and personality is what keeps me coming back – and I’m sure everyone else feels that way as well.

Don’t be generic (gag) – be Jude. There isn’t a better person to be! xx
.-= Queen Katherine´s last blog ..A Business Networking Idea =-.

No need to thank me, but you are most welcomed.

Not to take your DIL’s side cause I think it’s terrible you don’t get to see your grandchildren. But, I wonder if this isn’t her defense mechanism kicking in? Her way of dealing with the grief. I’ve heard many times of family members shutting others out, because to be near them, talk to them; makes the pain and loss worse.

Under normal circumstances I would offer to come and speak my mind to this girl who’s keeping you from seeing your grandchildren. But, because I know grief takes many forms I really do wonder if she’s hurting too much to want to, to be able to be with you. Being with you makes her loss more apparent. You’re his mother, and he wouldn’t be there.

Seriously, I think you should write a long letter telling her how much you miss she and and kids and your son. How hard you know this is for her, and that you understand she has the responsibilities of keeping house, raising kids, and going to work now soley on her shoulders. That you think you son would want you all to work through this together. Your son loved her, therefore she can’t be a bad person. I really do think she’s hurting. You’ve lost a son; she’s lost her husband, her best friend, her lover, and the father of her children.

Hugs to you all
Sandy

And the time frame, my Mother’s only been gone 4 months and I can tell you how much my Dad is hurting. We kids to our best to bridge the gap; but he’s lost the love of his life. I can’t nor can my brothers replace that.
.-= sandy´s last blog ..Forest Park, St. Louis, Missouri =-.

Sandy she didn’t like me before they got married and she was up here in February and March with her Mother and I got to see him maybe 4 times she wont even give me her Mother’s address so we could have just rode the 50 miles ourselves to see him when we felt like it while she was here. She doesn’t have to work right now she receives almost 2,000 dollars a month from my Son’s survivor benefits and she only has Ethan to worry about. No it doesn’t bother or hurt her to be around me because like I said she didn’t even think of me as his Mother.

9 months is such a short time. I hope we can continue to encourage you. I cannot imagine the pain you are justifiably going through.