Below is the last of my funny spam now it’s back to the normal crap of drug adverts and extensions for men, plus a few of these one liners then a link. “Could we have some water, please!, Is this the way to the train?, Can you tell me what time it is?”  I saved the good part of the spam comments below and some really are quite funny so I thought you might get a kick out of them.

Funny Spam Comments:
Hi all. Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren’t bad people; they’re just acquaintances. Help me!

Good evening. The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.

Excuse me. The great art of giving consists in this: the gift should cost very little and yet be greatly coveted, so that it may be the more highly appreciated.

Good evening. Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth?Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.

How are you. For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others.

Hi. I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

Hey. All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Help me!

Good afternoon. Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted. Help me! Please help find sites for:

Hello. If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. Help me!

To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture. Help me!

Good morning. A chess genius is a human being who focuses vast, little-understood mental gifts and labors on an ultimately trivial human enterprise. Help me!

Good evening. Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.

Good afternoon. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

Hi everyone. Each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms.

Greeting. The only difference between a rut and a grave. is in their dimensions. Help me!

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. Help me!

Badly need your help. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Help me!

Greeting. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Hi all. This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Give please. I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming… suddenly you find – at the age of 50, say – that a whole new life has opened before you.

Good Day. Make a decision, even if it’s wrong.

Hello. One thing I’ve learned in all these years is not to make love when you really don’t feel it; there’s probably nothing worse you can do to yourself than that. Help me!

Hi. When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. Help me!

Hello. The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure. Help me!

Give please. Nice site – pity you have to go to such lengths to moderate it. Help me!

Badly need your help. I love this site. great site and great webmaster. Thank you bye. Help me!

Hi all. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Help me!

How are you. Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. Help me!

Good morning. Paradise is exactly like where you are right now. only much, much better. Help me!