Over the past 7 years I have become semi reclusive, I’m perfectly happy not talking to anyone, but Bill. I don’t like hanging with the “girls” and when I see someone from the past when I’m out I usually turn the other way so I don’t have to talk to them unless they chase me down. Bill is totally opposite and loves to talk to everyone and it seems like he knows everyone.
I have many acquaintances and people I know, but I don’t do best friends anymore except Bill, but that’s different. I’ve actually had 1 best friend and 3 semi best friends in my life at different stages, these females I shared most of my thoughts, dreams, and secrets with and they with me. It makes you very vulnerable and more susceptible to pain when you put yourself out there and trust.
It’s hard when you lose those friendships for whatever reason and it makes you a lot less likely to trust. The first best friend I ever had was when I lived in an orphanage and in the 8th grade she took my boyfriend away. Well, not actually we had already broken up, but I thought we would get back together, but she decided to get in the middle so we were no longer best friends.
At least that experience was at a young age and taught me a lesson so the other 3 were more like semi-best friends with a lot less trust. I’m too old to play mind games and I really don’t like getting caught up in drama so I’m perfectly happy not participating these days. When I was younger I did enjoy going out and socializing, but now it’s too hard to make small talk with people. Thank God Bill’s good at it so I can just listen.
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